What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why am I sweating so much when I try to do anything?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

When North Koreans visit other countries for the Olympics, what stops some of them fleeing away into that host country?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Is heroin really as good as people say it is?

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What is the cost of implementing synchronized traffic lights in a mid-sized city?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I dreamt my mother had died and I cried so much in my dream. What does it mean?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

How do you leave a relationship when you are still in love?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What’s something you did a lot as a kid that you don’t miss now that you’re an adult?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Do leftists understand why young men are becoming more right-wing?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why do wokes use words like "homophobes" when they don't know what that means? Do they realize that no one is afraid of them?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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At least until the peyote kicks in ...